So recently, I discovered my old self . What I mean by that is, I'm startin' to NOT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE again . Like I'm startin' to lose interest on certain people now . . not just certain people, MOST people actually . I remember '08 being the best year of my life just because I wasn't stressed at all . . and you know why I wasn't ? CUZ I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK .
I mean, I had close friends and I obviously cared about 'em . . but the way I was, I didn't care about anyone's feelings at the end of the day . I just basically felt like I was always right . I always felt like I was the shit; whoever I lost, if they weren't family, I didn't give a fuck . Basically, I just felt like everyone was replacable . .
And another thing : I never let situations get to me . I didn't show sadness . . no matter what people did, I didn't let it get to me . . and when things DID get ugly/bad, I still never showed it . The only emotion/charateristic I showed was arrogance . . I mean, don't get it twisted, I was caring about people, but when/if they threatened/do me wrong, I just had 2 fingers up in the air [figuratively and literally at times lmao] . Plus I was just positive . . I never let bad things get me down; instead, I used bad memories to fuel my confidence . . I always felt like today might've rained, but tomorrow will be sunny and these fuckers will realize what the fuck they did/missed out on .
But the end of '08/'09 just been bad to me . . and I can honestly say, I'm responsible for half of my 'misery' cuz I let bad things get to me and just cared too much about certain things/individuals . . but now, I'm fed up and guess what ? I'm startin' to NOT GIVE A FUCK >:D I hope it stays this way though . . cuz I'm ready to fuckin' change .
-M.C.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Simplicity
I was thinkin' . . many people say they're 'laid back' or easy to talk to blah blah blah . But I seriously think I'm the definition of 'laid back' hah .
Ever since I was a kid, I've always been simple . I mean, I honestly think I'm greedy cuz I still fiend for a lot of things . . but when I say I'm simple, I mean it doesn't take a lot to please me . Like I can be greedy about things, but those things will be simple things .
I don't know, I think it's because of the way I was brought up . Not havin' a lot of money made me simple . Although I always envy people with money, havin' simple things or being simple in life, in my opinion, was the best thing that could've happened to me .
I know people who can't have fun without partyin'/goin' crazy; I know people who can't have fun without spendin' hella money; I know people who get bored easily . But to me, all of those things ARE fun [except gettin' bored easily lmao], but the way I am : give me a couple of friends to chill with, a nice conversation, and a place to stay/go at . . AND I'M GOOD .
Everytime people ask me what they wanna do, my answer will be : "I'm down for whatever" (ha, ask Danny lol) . The only thing I hate is NOT DOIN' SHIT . That's probably the only thing I'm not simple about; when there's a day where I'm stuck at home doin' nothin' . . I mean, I can be stuck at home with friends and I'll be all good . . but when there's literally nothin' to do when the day/night is still young, I feel like it's a waste of good time . I just don't like being by myself not usin' useful energy .
But it's funny, even when my own parents offer to spend money for me to make me happy, I turn 'em down . . . just cuz I feel like, if I didn't plan it to begin with, don't spend money on me just to make me happy . . and plus, I hate when people spend money on me . . so I try to avoid that shit .
Other than being stuck at home doin' nothin' . . Material things, parties, money, drugs [lmao :P], all of those things are DAMN GOOD ! But that's not who makes me . . I was never about all of those things [okay, maybe money and some drugs lmao] . I'd rather just sit back and relax and laugh [and maybe smoke weed once in a while hahaha :P] . .
-M.C.
Ever since I was a kid, I've always been simple . I mean, I honestly think I'm greedy cuz I still fiend for a lot of things . . but when I say I'm simple, I mean it doesn't take a lot to please me . Like I can be greedy about things, but those things will be simple things .
I don't know, I think it's because of the way I was brought up . Not havin' a lot of money made me simple . Although I always envy people with money, havin' simple things or being simple in life, in my opinion, was the best thing that could've happened to me .
I know people who can't have fun without partyin'/goin' crazy; I know people who can't have fun without spendin' hella money; I know people who get bored easily . But to me, all of those things ARE fun [except gettin' bored easily lmao], but the way I am : give me a couple of friends to chill with, a nice conversation, and a place to stay/go at . . AND I'M GOOD .
Everytime people ask me what they wanna do, my answer will be : "I'm down for whatever" (ha, ask Danny lol) . The only thing I hate is NOT DOIN' SHIT . That's probably the only thing I'm not simple about; when there's a day where I'm stuck at home doin' nothin' . . I mean, I can be stuck at home with friends and I'll be all good . . but when there's literally nothin' to do when the day/night is still young, I feel like it's a waste of good time . I just don't like being by myself not usin' useful energy .
But it's funny, even when my own parents offer to spend money for me to make me happy, I turn 'em down . . . just cuz I feel like, if I didn't plan it to begin with, don't spend money on me just to make me happy . . and plus, I hate when people spend money on me . . so I try to avoid that shit .
Other than being stuck at home doin' nothin' . . Material things, parties, money, drugs [lmao :P], all of those things are DAMN GOOD ! But that's not who makes me . . I was never about all of those things [okay, maybe money and some drugs lmao] . I'd rather just sit back and relax and laugh [and maybe smoke weed once in a while hahaha :P] . .
-M.C.
More Realization
Los Angeles, CA
Damn, I just got back from California tonight . So much bullshit happened while I was down there . . but at the same time, I wasn't too down . Weird thing is, soon as I stepped inside the bus back to Vegas, I swear, I automatically got sad . . I mean, I missed my family from Vegas and everything but I don't know, I just felt sad leavin' Cali again . .
I swear, Cali never fail to make me happy . There's soo many places/things to go to/do . But I doubt that's what it is that makes me happy every time I'm in Cali . It's true friends I have over there that make me happy . I'm not sayin' I don't have true friends from Vegas . . but damn, I just realized again who my true friends are after visitin' Cali . I swear, these people are soo chill . There's NEVER drama between us . . foreals [except when Giovanny acts like a fuckin' secretive biatch lol] . But real talk : I'm hella thankful of these people . . foreals .
But yea, the fact that there's hella things to do/go to just adds on to the fact, other than havin' my real friends in Cali, why I would still rather live in California than Las Vegas . . damn, I wish I could've moved there during summer . . but I have to stay here in Vegas for my family .
P.S.: I'm real thankful for the homie Alvaro and his family for lettin' me stay at there house for a week and everything the homie did .
-M.C.Friday, August 21, 2009
Fuckin' Sucks
Damn, I drove to SoCal yesterday and I made the whole 300-mile trip over here without a problem . I came to Giovanny's house first to chill and pick him up . Then after that, we went to drive to Alvaro's (one of my friends; duh) house, which is not that far .
Halfway through the driving . . my fuckin' car breaks down outta nowhere and smoke started comin' out of the engine !! The ironic thing is, it died down in front of a mechanic place . The mechanic looked at it but at the end, he actually didn't know what was wrong O.o
Then the homie Tarek came through (he knows shit about cars) and wasn't too sure, too . And Alvaro's step-dad (also someone who knows shit about cars) looked at it and couldn't figure it out .
So now I'm waitin' for tomorrow to get it checked by this one mechanic Alvaro's family knows well . . Fuck I just wanna figure out what's wroong with it . This shit sucks . . We just bought the car too (but it's 2nd hand/used; that's why it has a lot of problems) . Shieeet :[
-M.C.
Halfway through the driving . . my fuckin' car breaks down outta nowhere and smoke started comin' out of the engine !! The ironic thing is, it died down in front of a mechanic place . The mechanic looked at it but at the end, he actually didn't know what was wrong O.o
Then the homie Tarek came through (he knows shit about cars) and wasn't too sure, too . And Alvaro's step-dad (also someone who knows shit about cars) looked at it and couldn't figure it out .
So now I'm waitin' for tomorrow to get it checked by this one mechanic Alvaro's family knows well . . Fuck I just wanna figure out what's wroong with it . This shit sucks . . We just bought the car too (but it's 2nd hand/used; that's why it has a lot of problems) . Shieeet :[
-M.C.
Friday, August 14, 2009
My Problem . . Err Addiction . . ?
Goddamn, I write too fuckin' much . I just got done writin' my previous blog about Michael Vick about 15 minutes ago . I don't know, I think I have a real fuckin' problem . . or addiction with writing . As a young kid, I ALWAYS doubted myself in writing . Shit, every time I was given a writing test/essay when I was younger, my automatic response was "aww shit, automatic 'F', fuck it . ." Like I gave up soo quickly because I was never really confident in my writing skills .
But lately writing, to me, became sooo fuckin' easy . Almost as easy as drawing stick figures . Shit, ever since 9th grade, it just changed . I don't know, I think it's because I started paying more attention in my English class (other than the fact that Mrs. Arrow was young and fuckin' cute :P bhahahahaha damn I STILL remember her face XD lmao) .
But then again . . I doubt it was because I paid more attention . I really do doubt that . I think it's more like I'm such an outspoken person; shit, I can be reeeeaally shy, trust me . . but once you make me real comfortable, I really can't stop talkin' . I think it started off back in 7th grade . Stupid-ass school district put me in two English classes (for 'english learners') because I spoke another language . Shit, to be honest, I'm not mad come to think of it, because wow, I can honestly say I had two of the greatest teachers ever; Ms. Brannin & Mrs. Nelson .
These two women, are probably, the first reason(s) why I'm such an outspoken person now . Especially Mrs. Nelson . I miss that woman, real talk; I havn't seen her since I passed her class (2004) . I can still remember how her class was . I thought she was a total fuckin' bitch in the beginning, but as class progressed, WOW, my opinions on her changed . Around that time/year, I still had such a low confidence level on my writing skills, yet my outspoken side . But damn, this woman, I would honestly say, was one of the first people [if not the FIRST], to make me realize this 'gift/curse (I say curse 'cause I hate how I can't stop writin'/havin' opinions on things -_-)' I have .
I remember she believed in me so much regardless of how bad I was at writin' . I mean I'm talkin' about even through the times I could barely write two fuckin' sentences to start a damn paragraph -__- . It makes me tear up thinkin' 'bout it to be honest . I still remember her tellin' me that I have a gift . I wasn't too sure at the time wtf she was talkin' about since I didn't believe in myself much . Then one day, when I totally gave up on myself with an exercise assignment, she told me "just write whatever you can/want on these topics I give you, even if it's not written the right way ." She basically just told me, WRITE MY OPINION(S) on things I see/hear about/read about; WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS, JUST WRITE/SAY SOMETHIN' !
So eventually, I started pickin' up . I wrote more and more . But the difference was: even if I wasn't so confident on what I wrote down, I said somethin'/wrote about the topics she gave us/things we read about, even if they bored/did not interest me . But the thing is, she was actually impressed with the opinions I wrote down even if I didn't use proper spellings, proper grammar, etc . On the last day of school, she had written somethin' in my 'warm-up' notebook that even to this day, touches my heart deep inside . Shit, I STILL HAVE THAT NOTEBOOK 'cause what she wrote meant/means so fuckin' much to me . I don't remember exactly what she had said . . but to summarize it, she just told me that I have a gift and she believes I'll become someone/somethin' big one day and she EXPECTS to hear from me once I become that someone/somethin' she predicted . . Crazy, at times I lose motivation, I think about her/what she said and it motivates me . . 'cause I feel like I need to prove somethin' to her . . and I can't just let people like that to see me lose/give up . You know, you're not gon' disappoint someone who changed you regardless of where they're at now .
But yeah, as years passed (except 8th grade; wow prolly my worst year in an English class), I became more efficient in writin' . I wouldn't say I'm one of the best . . but I think my skills are exceptional . And I really doubt it's all from learnin' how to use proper grammar, spell the right away, etc . . . I think it's more like it's from havin' GREAT English teachers . Wow what a surprise ! All my fav. teachers, except my 8th grade one (fat-fuck; I don't even remember her name) AND 12th grade one (Mr. Jorgensen was a punk-ass faggot), have been my English teachers . They all taught me to open up my mind and let out my opinions . .
Problem is . . I can't stop thinkin'/analyzin' shit (being opinionated) on almost every fuckin' thing . . . -_____- lol . . .
Fuckin' dumb-ass brain . . UGH; sometimes I really wish I can stop . . 'cause I don't know . All I fuckin' do is think and write shit . . . blaaaah . It bothers me 'cause sometimes I think I write waaay more than I draw; funny 'cause drawing is my 1st passion .
-M.C.
But lately writing, to me, became sooo fuckin' easy . Almost as easy as drawing stick figures . Shit, ever since 9th grade, it just changed . I don't know, I think it's because I started paying more attention in my English class (other than the fact that Mrs. Arrow was young and fuckin' cute :P bhahahahaha damn I STILL remember her face XD lmao) .
But then again . . I doubt it was because I paid more attention . I really do doubt that . I think it's more like I'm such an outspoken person; shit, I can be reeeeaally shy, trust me . . but once you make me real comfortable, I really can't stop talkin' . I think it started off back in 7th grade . Stupid-ass school district put me in two English classes (for 'english learners') because I spoke another language . Shit, to be honest, I'm not mad come to think of it, because wow, I can honestly say I had two of the greatest teachers ever; Ms. Brannin & Mrs. Nelson .
These two women, are probably, the first reason(s) why I'm such an outspoken person now . Especially Mrs. Nelson . I miss that woman, real talk; I havn't seen her since I passed her class (2004) . I can still remember how her class was . I thought she was a total fuckin' bitch in the beginning, but as class progressed, WOW, my opinions on her changed . Around that time/year, I still had such a low confidence level on my writing skills, yet my outspoken side . But damn, this woman, I would honestly say, was one of the first people [if not the FIRST], to make me realize this 'gift/curse (I say curse 'cause I hate how I can't stop writin'/havin' opinions on things -_-)' I have .
I remember she believed in me so much regardless of how bad I was at writin' . I mean I'm talkin' about even through the times I could barely write two fuckin' sentences to start a damn paragraph -__- . It makes me tear up thinkin' 'bout it to be honest . I still remember her tellin' me that I have a gift . I wasn't too sure at the time wtf she was talkin' about since I didn't believe in myself much . Then one day, when I totally gave up on myself with an exercise assignment, she told me "just write whatever you can/want on these topics I give you, even if it's not written the right way ." She basically just told me, WRITE MY OPINION(S) on things I see/hear about/read about; WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS, JUST WRITE/SAY SOMETHIN' !
So eventually, I started pickin' up . I wrote more and more . But the difference was: even if I wasn't so confident on what I wrote down, I said somethin'/wrote about the topics she gave us/things we read about, even if they bored/did not interest me . But the thing is, she was actually impressed with the opinions I wrote down even if I didn't use proper spellings, proper grammar, etc . On the last day of school, she had written somethin' in my 'warm-up' notebook that even to this day, touches my heart deep inside . Shit, I STILL HAVE THAT NOTEBOOK 'cause what she wrote meant/means so fuckin' much to me . I don't remember exactly what she had said . . but to summarize it, she just told me that I have a gift and she believes I'll become someone/somethin' big one day and she EXPECTS to hear from me once I become that someone/somethin' she predicted . . Crazy, at times I lose motivation, I think about her/what she said and it motivates me . . 'cause I feel like I need to prove somethin' to her . . and I can't just let people like that to see me lose/give up . You know, you're not gon' disappoint someone who changed you regardless of where they're at now .
But yeah, as years passed (except 8th grade; wow prolly my worst year in an English class), I became more efficient in writin' . I wouldn't say I'm one of the best . . but I think my skills are exceptional . And I really doubt it's all from learnin' how to use proper grammar, spell the right away, etc . . . I think it's more like it's from havin' GREAT English teachers . Wow what a surprise ! All my fav. teachers, except my 8th grade one (fat-fuck; I don't even remember her name) AND 12th grade one (Mr. Jorgensen was a punk-ass faggot), have been my English teachers . They all taught me to open up my mind and let out my opinions . .
Problem is . . I can't stop thinkin'/analyzin' shit (being opinionated) on almost every fuckin' thing . . . -_____- lol . . .
Fuckin' dumb-ass brain . . UGH; sometimes I really wish I can stop . . 'cause I don't know . All I fuckin' do is think and write shit . . . blaaaah . It bothers me 'cause sometimes I think I write waaay more than I draw; funny 'cause drawing is my 1st passion .
-M.C.
Michael Vick Flies As A Different Bird
Okay, most of the blogs I've written/usually write are about life . Well . . if you know me well enough, SPORTS is a BIG part of my life . And if you know me really well, you'd know that I'm a big fan of NFL football . And if you really really really know me well enough, you'd know that I'm a crazy-ass Philadelphia Eagles fan ! So I'ma write about sports whether you fuckin' like/read it or not ! >:P
I just found out last night, from MySpace (lol my nigga, and Eagles fan like myself, Darryl commented me about it) that Michael Vick signed with my team ! I was in a such a state of disbelief because I thought my team was one of the last teams that would sign Michael Vick . Now if you know this muthafucka, you'd know why no team wanted to sign him right away [regardless of how good of quarterback he was] (you know, muthafucka went to prison for dog fightin' and shit blah blah blah) .
But as soon as I found out, I got real excited cuz WOW, the Eagles lost sooo many good players this off-season (Brian Dawkins :[ Lito Sheppard, etc.) . And aside from that, we lost our defensive coach, RIP the great Jim Johnson, through cancer this past July . So I was so disappointed . . but I heard sooo much shit that our offense got a lot better though ! Somethin' to brighten up my day ! :D Then I heard that Michael Vick signed with us ! DAMN ! XD
Now if you know Vick, the former Atlanta Falcon, this muthafucka brings a lot of good things to our table . He's the quickest muthafuckin' quarterback I've ever seen ! He has a powerful arm, although not accurate at all times, that can back our main QB, McNabb, during the season if McNabb gets injured . Not only that; we can create MANY plays/packages to confuse other teams' defense . Shieeet .
It's funny because the year the Eagles finally went back to the Super Bowl (against the Patriots; Feb. 6th, 2005 aka MY BDAY !!), we had to face the Falcons, which was led by Michael Vick (pictures below), the previous game (NFC Championship; DUH we won :P hahaaa) ! Who knew that this fool would later sign on with my team . HA ! It's all good though ! >:D Cuz I got a HUMONGOUS feelin' we're goin' back to the Super Bowl this year . . . with the help of Vick :D Super Bowl rematch ! Eagles vs. Patriots !! My two fav. team ! >:D
I just found out last night, from MySpace (lol my nigga, and Eagles fan like myself, Darryl commented me about it) that Michael Vick signed with my team ! I was in a such a state of disbelief because I thought my team was one of the last teams that would sign Michael Vick . Now if you know this muthafucka, you'd know why no team wanted to sign him right away [regardless of how good of quarterback he was] (you know, muthafucka went to prison for dog fightin' and shit blah blah blah) .
But as soon as I found out, I got real excited cuz WOW, the Eagles lost sooo many good players this off-season (Brian Dawkins :[ Lito Sheppard, etc.) . And aside from that, we lost our defensive coach, RIP the great Jim Johnson, through cancer this past July . So I was so disappointed . . but I heard sooo much shit that our offense got a lot better though ! Somethin' to brighten up my day ! :D Then I heard that Michael Vick signed with us ! DAMN ! XD
Now if you know Vick, the former Atlanta Falcon, this muthafucka brings a lot of good things to our table . He's the quickest muthafuckin' quarterback I've ever seen ! He has a powerful arm, although not accurate at all times, that can back our main QB, McNabb, during the season if McNabb gets injured . Not only that; we can create MANY plays/packages to confuse other teams' defense . Shieeet .
It's funny because the year the Eagles finally went back to the Super Bowl (against the Patriots; Feb. 6th, 2005 aka MY BDAY !!), we had to face the Falcons, which was led by Michael Vick (pictures below), the previous game (NFC Championship; DUH we won :P hahaaa) ! Who knew that this fool would later sign on with my team . HA ! It's all good though ! >:D Cuz I got a HUMONGOUS feelin' we're goin' back to the Super Bowl this year . . . with the help of Vick :D Super Bowl rematch ! Eagles vs. Patriots !! My two fav. team ! >:D
-M.C.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
What I Don't Get About Myself .
There's certain people in my life right now that I know I shouldn't associate myself with at all . And yet, I don't get why I do . They're completely opposite of the person I am . We come from different backgrounds, have different views, different type of friends, different history . And it seriously bothers me the more I get to know these people . It's not that I don't like their views/background; it's more like I don't like how they sugarcoat themselves so they wouldn't be judged . It pisses me off to be honest, cuz me personally ? I never fuckin' lie about the things I do/have done in the past; regardless of how bad it can make me look .
That's what it is, that's what makes you WHO YOU ARE . . your past, even if you're different now . So why hide from it ? If you're confident about yourself now (now that you're 'different'), you shouldn't be ashamed of your past cuz dang, when asked about it, you should easily answer/tell people about it and go "yea, I know, it sounds bad . But fuck that, I'm different now" and SHOW 'em you ARE different .
The reason why I'm never scared to show people who I WAS cuz you can CLEARLY SEE I'm different now; I'm not proud of the bad side of my history but I'm not hiding from it . I guess it's easier for me to talk about my past cuz I'm a 'BETTER' PERSON now I would say . . I can show you what I used to be but at the same time, I can SHOW you I ROSE FROM THE BAD THINGS I did and wouldn't let my bad history repeat itself . It's like I got confidence in myself and wouldn't give a fuck if you judge me cuz of my past . . cuz obviously, my past is what made me a better person . . learning from my mistakes .
And when people hide their past ? It just makes shit look more suspicious, like umm . . "why aren't you tellin' me this ?" IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I CAN'T TRUST 'EM CUZ THEY'RE NOT BEING 100% HONEST TO ME; they're hidin' shit from me . Shit like that just bothers me, cuz when I'm real cool/close to someone,I feel like I should/need to know about their lifestyle/history cuz it it makes me get to know them better .
Seriously, I know too many people who run away from their past so they wouldn't get judged . FUCK THAT . Be real; be real to yourself . . that's how you get respect & trust (at least from me) .
-M.C.
That's what it is, that's what makes you WHO YOU ARE . . your past, even if you're different now . So why hide from it ? If you're confident about yourself now (now that you're 'different'), you shouldn't be ashamed of your past cuz dang, when asked about it, you should easily answer/tell people about it and go "yea, I know, it sounds bad . But fuck that, I'm different now" and SHOW 'em you ARE different .
The reason why I'm never scared to show people who I WAS cuz you can CLEARLY SEE I'm different now; I'm not proud of the bad side of my history but I'm not hiding from it . I guess it's easier for me to talk about my past cuz I'm a 'BETTER' PERSON now I would say . . I can show you what I used to be but at the same time, I can SHOW you I ROSE FROM THE BAD THINGS I did and wouldn't let my bad history repeat itself . It's like I got confidence in myself and wouldn't give a fuck if you judge me cuz of my past . . cuz obviously, my past is what made me a better person . . learning from my mistakes .
And when people hide their past ? It just makes shit look more suspicious, like umm . . "why aren't you tellin' me this ?" IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I CAN'T TRUST 'EM CUZ THEY'RE NOT BEING 100% HONEST TO ME; they're hidin' shit from me . Shit like that just bothers me, cuz when I'm real cool/close to someone,I feel like I should/need to know about their lifestyle/history cuz it it makes me get to know them better .
Seriously, I know too many people who run away from their past so they wouldn't get judged . FUCK THAT . Be real; be real to yourself . . that's how you get respect & trust (at least from me) .
-M.C.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Fuck College
I moved to [North] Las Vegas my sophomore year; prior to that, I lived in [Southern] California . I have so much love for Vegas but my love for SoCal is even GREATER . I always loved visitin' Vegas but livin' here ? That's a whole 'nother idea I can't seem to accept . I got some real cool, laid back friends here but it's just damn, SoCal is still on my mind no matter who I meet here, what happens here, etc .
I never planned on stayin' here . Even right before we got settled here, when I found out we were movin' here, I promised my friends [& myself] that I'd move back to Cali as soon as I get done with high school . People here always act surprised that I wanna move back there . I don't see how though; I ALWAYS talk about California, how much I love it, how bad I wanna move there, etc . Shit I even got "L.A." tatted on me . But what I don't get is : the people who CONSTANTLY act surprised no matter how much I tell 'em 'bout movin' back to Cali, are my PARENTS .
Now that I finally got done with high school, I told my parents (for the 43243rd time), that I wanna move back to Cali and go to college [just to make 'em happy at least] there . But ugh, now school's startin' again and I had to make a fuckin' quick decision and change my plans; yes I have to stay here and go to college here . . It stresses me out though . . cuz I feel like it fucked up SOO MANY of my future plans . .
I guess I'll just have to get through it . . FUCK until fuckin' December . . but after this Fall Semester, I'm fuckin' movin' out fo' sho' . I made it clear to my fuckin' parents and they better go with that . Part of the reason (BIG REASON) why I wanna move the fuck out is cuz . . I'm just tired of my parents' supervision . I can't do ANYTHING without them havin' to constantly watch what I fuckin' do; I can't make my own decisions all the time cuz I gotta watch out what I do for them . . and it holds me back from sooo many fuckin' things . .
But seriously, I don't even wanna go to college to be honest . . I mean I DO but shit, that shit's too fuckin' expensive . . I can be doin' somethin' else [in Cali]; focus on my dreams of tattooing and music . My parents just don't believe in my dreams and they think college is always the only way to succeed . If I didn't need to go to college, I'd be soo focused on my music and tattooing cuz I don't need to worry 'bout grades, payin' for college, being busy on shit I don't wanna do . . FUCK, the setbacks . .
-M.C.
I never planned on stayin' here . Even right before we got settled here, when I found out we were movin' here, I promised my friends [& myself] that I'd move back to Cali as soon as I get done with high school . People here always act surprised that I wanna move back there . I don't see how though; I ALWAYS talk about California, how much I love it, how bad I wanna move there, etc . Shit I even got "L.A." tatted on me . But what I don't get is : the people who CONSTANTLY act surprised no matter how much I tell 'em 'bout movin' back to Cali, are my PARENTS .
Now that I finally got done with high school, I told my parents (for the 43243rd time), that I wanna move back to Cali and go to college [just to make 'em happy at least] there . But ugh, now school's startin' again and I had to make a fuckin' quick decision and change my plans; yes I have to stay here and go to college here . . It stresses me out though . . cuz I feel like it fucked up SOO MANY of my future plans . .
I guess I'll just have to get through it . . FUCK until fuckin' December . . but after this Fall Semester, I'm fuckin' movin' out fo' sho' . I made it clear to my fuckin' parents and they better go with that . Part of the reason (BIG REASON) why I wanna move the fuck out is cuz . . I'm just tired of my parents' supervision . I can't do ANYTHING without them havin' to constantly watch what I fuckin' do; I can't make my own decisions all the time cuz I gotta watch out what I do for them . . and it holds me back from sooo many fuckin' things . .
But seriously, I don't even wanna go to college to be honest . . I mean I DO but shit, that shit's too fuckin' expensive . . I can be doin' somethin' else [in Cali]; focus on my dreams of tattooing and music . My parents just don't believe in my dreams and they think college is always the only way to succeed . If I didn't need to go to college, I'd be soo focused on my music and tattooing cuz I don't need to worry 'bout grades, payin' for college, being busy on shit I don't wanna do . . FUCK, the setbacks . .
-M.C.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Ain't Shit Changed . . We Still Represent The House
What is the definition of friends ? To me, it doesn't really fuckin' matter cuz I don't give a fuck 'bout friends . Yea, we're friends, but question is : HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO FOR ME ? Crazy thing is, many people would EVEN consider each other best friends . Even crazier than that is, when people have more than one fuckin' bestfriend -_- Man, seriously stick to one. That's why it's called BESTfriend . . cuz it's the best . He/she is second to none .
Funny how people change too . I've 'lost' so many friends cuz they changed . People always think I'm the one who changed . But I doubt it . I never change unless someone changes on me . I act the same; whether it'd be about things I laugh about, complain about, cry about . . end of the day, I'm still fuckin' real to myself and to others . I guess people just can't handle certain things when they get too close to you cuz they expect you to be nice to them and follow whatever they say .
The thing is, I DON'T lie to my friends, even if it makes me look bad; I'll admit whatever I say or do . I just think REAL friendships do not let arguements/fights/different opinions ruin what people have between one another . But the thing is, 99% of the people on Earth these days can't handle people that are real .
Then others change cuz of distance; like you and your friend(s) can't see each other much cuz one of y'all moved or have been busy lately . I understand this part . . cuz distance does create gaps between relationships when you're so used to seeing/hangin' out with someone that when one of y'all move or get busy, shit just changes .
Then the loyalty/honesty part; I guess this goes back to being real to people . Some people just start choosin' other people over their friends, or even worse, their so-called 'bestfriend(s)' . People just start hangin' out with/choosin' other people so much maybe cuz of distance, people changin', people havin' love relationships, etc . Whatever it is, FUCK THAT; a friendship isn't real if you let all of these things listed above affect your relationship with someone .
Funny how people change too . I've 'lost' so many friends cuz they changed . People always think I'm the one who changed . But I doubt it . I never change unless someone changes on me . I act the same; whether it'd be about things I laugh about, complain about, cry about . . end of the day, I'm still fuckin' real to myself and to others . I guess people just can't handle certain things when they get too close to you cuz they expect you to be nice to them and follow whatever they say .
The thing is, I DON'T lie to my friends, even if it makes me look bad; I'll admit whatever I say or do . I just think REAL friendships do not let arguements/fights/different opinions ruin what people have between one another . But the thing is, 99% of the people on Earth these days can't handle people that are real .
Then others change cuz of distance; like you and your friend(s) can't see each other much cuz one of y'all moved or have been busy lately . I understand this part . . cuz distance does create gaps between relationships when you're so used to seeing/hangin' out with someone that when one of y'all move or get busy, shit just changes .
Then the loyalty/honesty part; I guess this goes back to being real to people . Some people just start choosin' other people over their friends, or even worse, their so-called 'bestfriend(s)' . People just start hangin' out with/choosin' other people so much maybe cuz of distance, people changin', people havin' love relationships, etc . Whatever it is, FUCK THAT; a friendship isn't real if you let all of these things listed above affect your relationship with someone .
I don't really believe in friendships soo much these days . It's either you're a friend I'm cool with or a fuckin' FAMILY (regardless of blood) . I've only had TWO 'friends' I trust and never lost over nothin' . The term 'bestfriend' is such a cliche' for us though that we don't even fuckin' call each other 'best friends' (aside from the fact that it just sounds gay between men lol) .
Giovanny & Chris aka Coke; yeea these my niggaz FO' LIFE . When I say that, I mean that . Maybe it might not come true that the 3 of us will always be friends since "nothin' lasts forever", but fuck man, every damn time somethin' happens bad, they're really the only ones that come fuckin' through for me .
Funny thing is : OUR DISTANCE IS 300 MILES AWAY and yet I can depend on these fools like no other . I think that's the thing about our friendship that differs from soo many friendships . None of those I listed above that ruin friendship ever affected us . Shit, we're always open to each others' opinions regardless of what the outcome is (honesty is the best policy ha), we've all had girlfriends we were madly in love with and yet here we stand and NOT ONE BITCH ruined us, and shit, me movin' to Vegas and not really being able to see 'em every day for the past 3 years, what the fuck is there to separate us ? I don't know but I sho' havn't seen it yet .
If you ever fuckin' wonder why I'll never put no one above these niggaz, those are just some of the clues for your ass . Seriously though, bestfriends are for lil butt-fucks who want to butt fuck each other and feel secured around each others' arms . I don't need that shit . I need loyalty . . which you can only really 100% get from family . . that's why I consider these niggaz my BROTHERS instead .
Phrase(s) of the day (one of my favorites I might add) : "FUCK FRIENDS ." shieeet . . "when worse comes to worst, family comes frist"
-M.C.
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