Time Changes . . And People Change Too

I don't know what it is, but I can honestly say I'm a more responsible person now that I've ever been . I love the new me actually . . I care less, in the sense of not gettin' butt-hurt/caring too much for things that don't matter .

Don't get it twisted, I actually party harder in 2010 than I've ever done my whole entire life . You can say, I do more "illegal" things these days when it comes to partyin' . But hey, every 20-year-old college kid goes through that, right . . ? But the thing about me is, now I'm actually more careful when I do stupid things when I party .

But yeah, I feel like I've become more responsible more than anything . I mean, I still have A LOT of flaws . . but I think as a family man, I've gotten better . I'm actually glad I didn't move to California back in August . . I can't believe I had soo many fights with my mom about movin' to Cali, to the point I made it seem like it's her fault why I hated my life . . lookin' back, it hurts me .

I'm glad I didn't move cuz I feel like being with my family, especially through all the tragic things we've been through (us losin' our house again, my grandma being sent to the hospital, etc .), it brought me closer to my mom . . Since my dad's in California workin' and hardly being able to come home [cuz of tight budget], I feel like my mom needed me the most than ever with all the shit my family's been through .

I mean, I still feel like I'm not the son my parents expected me to be when I was born . . but I'm slowly makin' progress . I really AM tryin', to be honest .

I believe parts of the reason I've become more responsible is because of life problems, the economy, and most importantly, my relatives from the Philippines . . they've been through so much from day one . . both from my mom and dad's side . I've always felt like FAMILY COMES FIRST but every day I think about things, I'm startin' to feel that I need to put my intentions aside, and put my family first; that's what my cousins in the Philippines are doin' .

I don't even wanna be a famous rapper anymore to be honest [especially of how mainstream Hip-Hop has become so disgusting; fakes everywhere] . . or maybe even a tattoo artist . . and I'm startin' to really not give a fuck about impressin' my peers anymore . . I feel that sometimes I need to put my dreams/bullshittin' aside and set out for what really matters . . cuz at the end of the day, who's really gon' stay down for you when everything falls off ?

"Don't make the mistakes I made . Go to school, get good grades ! Don't worry 'bout tryin' to get paid ! Cuz at the end of the day, the only real thing, is WHATEVER'S STILL HERE, WHEN THE MONEY GO AWAY ! " - rapper, Saigon .

-M.C.