Thoughts That Kill Me

Sometimes I feel like I've lost my creativity.. what's worse is sometimes I feel like I'm losing my passion/love for art as an artist.. I mean, as an observer, of course, I still love art.. but as an artist, it bothers me the most feeling like I'm losing my love/passion for the thing I've always adored..

-M.C.

The Artistic Side of Marijuana

My friends have always told me to try drawing when I'm high.. I've always told 'em "nah I can't do it, I wouldn't be able to concentrate."

But last night, the homie Alvaro visited from Cali (you know damn well he brought some bomb-ass Cali kush), and the homies and I got high at Dexter Park. Summer and her boyfriend brought their art supplies and this magazine called Juxtapoz with them. That magazine is beyond unbelievable. I've always seen it at bookstores but have never really checked it out. Last night was the second time I've checked out another issue of the magazine. It's filled with damn creative people.. like shit that'll really inspired you.

I saw Summer and her boyfriend's paintings.. and to add to it, Frankie's imaginative ass started drawing.. they all inspired me alongside the photography, drawings, paintings, etc. from the magazine.. so I decided to give drawing while I'm high a try..

And damn! I felt so free.. like I didn't worry about how my drawing will turn out (which is usually my problem) and I actually concentrated more than I expected.. I didn't finish the drawing though cuz my high eventually went away.. but I'm definitely going to give drawing while I'm high another chance and see if it'll have the same effect.

-M.C.

Today, I Realized..

I'm full of excuses.. it's October 7th, 2010 and yet my tattooing career hasn't gotten nowhere.. I still don't know how to set up a tattoo machine, I still havn't tattooed anyone, I still havn't finished my portfolio [which was supposed to be turned in as early as January of last year.]

I always come up with an excuse.. I've wasted so much time bullshitting..

Lately, I've been telling my friends how I'm a genius and how I want to be remembered down in history.. not just be remembered.. I want to be in books read by students.. admired in a high level.. passed that celebrity status.. I want to make an impact in this world like my idols did (Da Vinci, Einstein, Corbet, Stephen Hawking..)

And yet.. at 20 years old, about to be 21, I still havn't accomplished shit in my life.. cuz of what? Excuses..

-M.C.

Come To Think of It..

You know how everyone always talks about how Kobe Bryant's first three rings were "Shaq's rings?" Well I came across a random YouTube video tonight about one of Kobe's best games (against the Sacramento Kings in Game 4 of the Western Conference Semi-Finals in 2001) and read the comments on it (like I always do.) I came across a comment that signifies Kobe's importance in those three rings he, Shaq and the Lakers won during their three-peat. I just thought I'd post it because the person who left it made a very, very good point.


"How many has rings have Shaq and Kobe won 2gether...3!How many has Shaq won without Kobe......1!How many has Kobe won without Shaq....2!!!The crazy thing is Shaq has had Penny Hardaway, Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Steve Nash, Amare Stoudemire and all he manages is 1 without Kobe, while Kobe has had way less to work with.No offense to Pau Gasol, Bynum Odom or Artest to but look at the list of guys Shaq has had!!!More like Shaq needed Kobe just as bad as he needed Shaq to make it work." - KB24Lakers4ever

EXACTLY .. On point.

-M.C.

My Mother

She's everything that I can ask for from a person.

She does so much and yet never asks for anything back..

She's the main reason why I still haven't thrown my life away.. I mean, I have so much to live for.. But when it's all said and done, I think she's going to be affected the most with what I do with my life, since she's done so much for me.. so much that I don't think I can ever re-pay her.

That's why I try to get my life straight now..

It's not even for me anymore..

It's for the people I love.. especially her.

-M.C.

It Hasn't Even Been a Year

And we might move again . . It's funny how life problems can create tensions between "friends ." I don't know if it's just my mom who wants to move out of this house or me trippin' out and thinkin' my mom's bestfriend and her family want us out . It's not even just me thinkin' like that though . The vibe these people are giving out totally changed . And the fact my homie Frankie "lives" with us too is like a "burden" to them probably . Man, I'm not in this house to play around and pretend about shit . If these people want us out, I'd rather be out than live here cuz they feel bad about us . Fuck it .

I hate how my mom's "bestfriend" and her husband are always rude to me . I always try to say hi and be polite to them but these people have been giving me attitudes and ignoring me when I say hi . I don't give a fuck if they got life problems; I understand that but everyone is going through shit . If anything, my family have WAY MORE problems than these two people . I know she took us in last year and her kids took us in this year when we all lost our houses, but for some reason, ever since her husband's been around, I don't know who she is, but she keeps acting like we owe her shit . Last time I remember, my mom took care of her ass when she was almost dying from her damn sickness two years ago . But what ? The times my grandma went to the hospital and when my mom had a stroke, I NEVER saw her take care of neither of them .

Ha life is funny . . but I just feel bad for my family . . how we have to constantly move .

-M.C.

One of the Best Sports Articles I've Ever Read

"In the here and now, LeBron James probably did the best thing for himself.

By joining Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami to form an NBA superpower squad, James, who announced Thursday night that he was bolting Cleveland via free agency, will more than likely win a championship -- or two or three -- sooner rather than later.

And ultimately, that's what James so desperately wants after seven "failed" seasons with the Cavaliers.

But in the long run, James has clearly damaged his name -- his brand, if you will -- by joining forces with other star players at the height of his NBA career.

James, 25, can't ever truly be considered the greatest player, on par with Michael Jordan.

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Jerry Wachter/NBAE/Getty ImagesMichael Jordan had to struggle before his Bulls found their wings.

That has been the comparison for James from Day 1 in the NBA after coming directly from high school.

But it will be hard for many to not think that James simply took the easy way out. Instead of fighting and working to build his own legacy and win by leading the way, James took the path of least resistance.

He jumped on Wade's back, with a boost up from Bosh, in order to win.

It's a move an aging, ring-less veteran might take. But not a man dubbed "King James" and "The Chosen One."

That's the reason James didn't sign with the Knicks. Or even the Nets, who have a wonderful move to Brooklyn in the future.

Those gigs would have been too hard. Sadly, James wasn't willing to put up the risk for the reward at the end.

James had a great opportunity to go to the Knicks and win, put NYC on the NBA map once again. All the resources were in place. The stage was set. All it was going to take were a few more players and a little time.

The Knicks haven't won a championship since 1973 and have basically been irrelevant for more than a decade.

Had James been able to win, he would have been in a place where only legends exist. Add a second and third championship and James would have had a statue on 7th Avenue in front of the World's Most Famous Arena. Jordan, of course, has a statue in front of the United Center.

There are no other players frozen in history with Jordan. That won't be the case if these three win the way many NBA experts expect.

Somebody better order more bronze.

Sure, James can enjoy South Beach and win there. People will still be excited and buy his sneakers.

But deep down, many will know James decided to put the onus on others and not take on the lead role in a movie everyone thought he was going to star in.

It should come as no surprise that owners, coaches and players around the league were shocked with his decision to join Wade's team. After all, Wade has already won a championship. LeBron went down there to join in on the winning he couldn't accomplish in Ohio.

Many thought James was looking for his Robin to win. Finally, he revealed to everyone that he's Robin and needed a Batman.

James has done nothing wrong. He was a free agent and had a right to go wherever he wanted, including Miami.

LeBron James spurned the Big Apple for Miami. If you're a glutton for punishment, here are his greatest moments on the court. Photo gallery

Still, it just doesn't feel right.

James not only cheated the fans, but himself.

What made Jordan great wasn't just winning six championships in six tries. Or the six NBA Finals MVPs he won.

The journey and the struggle were just as impressive. Early on, many said he was a great scorer, but wouldn't win anything. Jordan didn't win a championship until his seventh season. Before that, he couldn't get past the Pistons, losing three years in a row before finally breaking through.

It was monumental when he finally got there. People marveled at his perseverance, his determination.

Jordan would have never asked to be traded to the Pistons or Celtics in an attempt to win faster and easier. Or even become a free agent to escape the burden of trying to win his own title.

In 2006, James told ESPN The Magazine, "I don't want to go ring hunting. I want to stay in Cleveland and build a championship."

James not only changed his mind, but, apparently, no longer wants a shot at being the greatest, either."

-Rob Parker

-M.C.