I've Never Heard/Seen My Grandma Cry

Until now.. it hurts to see her cry.. like wow.. I've always known she was stressed about a lot of things.. but she never shows her "weak" side.. I think she's on the phone with my aunt from Guam.. my uncle has had cancer for I don't know how long now.. but I guess it's just getting worse for him.. She's really worried about him.. my grandma has surpassed many deaths of her loved ones.. from her father to her second son to her husband to her mother.. it's crazy how strong she is to this day after bearing so much pain in life.. And now she has to deal with my uncle, her first son.. I hope he lives.. I respect my grandma for how strong she's been all her life.. and being able to live strong through the toughest times. -M.C.

I Miss Everything About the 90s

I swear.. when I look at today's kids' lifestyles, I just shake my head and think to myself how unfortunate these kids are.. not in the sense of wealth, but in the sense of having a great childhood. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not one to judge how people live, but today's children are so different because of technology..

I love technology, I wished we were so much more advanced.. but my point is, I don't think children should be surrounded by so much technology until maybe their teenage years.

-M.C.

I Hate Birthdays

It's just a way for people to be fake in your face for one "special" day. I appreciate all the love given to me by anyone and everyone who greets me happy birthday.. but I don't think birthdays should be the only day people show you love. It's just like any other holiday to me.. Father's Day, Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, etc.

Sure they're special because people show appreciation towards you. But what I don't understand is why does it have to be only on your birthday or/and holiday that people show you a great deal of appreciation..

I think people should show you love/attention whenever they can.. instead of making up dumb holidays and birthday celebrations.

-M.C.

Lakers

I don't know why we have 3 of the best bigs in the league (Gasol, Bynum, Odom) and every time the Lakers are losing, they're always away from the damn basket. The reason Lakers lose these big games is because nobody is rebounding.

Another disappointing much-anticipated afternoon..

Lakers have now lost to both Maimi and Boston.. each by more than 10.. at home.

Bryant scored over 40 points today.. it wasn't Boston vs. LA.. it was Boston vs Kobe today.

WOW, Lakers.. WOW!

They better win their second meeting with the Heat and Celtics.

-M.C.

The Phantom Menace

So earlier today, I watched Star Wars Episode 1: Phantom Menace. I've been googling why people hate the prequels so much because I never realized/knew [until a couple of months ago] there was such hatred that's been going around since the prequels came out coming from "original" Star Wars fan. These people have been and still claiming the prequels have no substance in them. I can kind of see that with the Attack of the Clones movie.. but at the end of the day, to me it's still Star Wars.. I can't complain.

So I decided to re-watch the Phantom Menace today with my brother to review it. From the years I've watched Star Wars over and over again, the Phantom Menace has become one of my least favorite out of all of them. It's ironic because this is the same movie that introduced and made me fall in love with Star Wars. I grew tired of this movie (other than the fact I've seen it a million times) because I began feeling this movie lacked the story and action I'm so accustomed seeing in Star Wars movies.

One of the complaints "original" Star Wars fans complain about is their claim Star Wars have become nothing more than CGI effects rather than using the same technology that George Lucas used back when he made the original trilogy (props, make-up, etc.) That is mainly true in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith.. but nobody can blame Lucas for using CGI.. he would've used it before if he had the chance.. the technology was just not available at the time. But I'm bringing this up because I noticed a handful of scenes in the Phantom Menace aren't CGI at all. If you don't know what I'm talking about, compare the explosion scenes and buildings/background objects in the Phantom Menace to Episode 2 and 3.

After watching the Phantom Menace today, I realized how stunning this movie is. It's not as bad as I've concluded in the past. If you pay close attention to the movie's details, you will truly appreciate this movie. From the costumes, make-up, CGI, stunts, etc. Even with Jar Jar and the Gungans' presence in the movie (which was the reason I grew tired of the movie), the movie is still nice, although I still think George Lucas could've used the funds he spent on developing the Gungans on something better.

But after reviewing the movie, I fell in love with the Phantom Menace once again because in my opinion, it captures both the original trilogy and prequels' essence so perfectly. It's balanced between traditional Star Wars and new Star Wars.

-M.C.

Natural High

I'm soooooo fucking glad I bought a BMX with the $100 that I had over the winter.. I was going to wait 'til maybe spring to get a bike but I saw this used bike on craigslist for $100.. it's in a pretty good condition and it's light compared to my brother's new BMX bike.. the only thing I had to change was the tire tube on the rear wheel..

I was originally planning on getting a new tattoo with the $100 and some money that I had saved.. but I thought hard about it and decided I'd get a new bike instead.

I decided to get a bike because, I feel like, I can always get tattoos.. and I shouldn't be getting any tattoos unless I have a job.. and the fact that I was just going to get a rose tattoo to fill up the space on my right forearm [below my other tattoos.]

I've been wanting a bike for the longest.. I've always liked biking.. it brings so much memories from my childhood every time I bike.. like it gives me such a natural high while I listen to music..

And thankfully.. this January has been warm!! This has been the warmest January I've experienced in America.. it's been like 60-70 degrees these past two weeks.

Perfect weather to bike to.

-M.C.

Another Great Season Ended

Wow.. 21-16 Packers-Eagles..
Vick was good all game.. 'til the last throw.
Wow.. I don't know if I'll ever see the Eagles win the Super Bowl. Every year, I'm so confident with each squad we've had.. especially this year, with Vick, McCoy, Maclin, Jackson, Celek, Avant..
Our defense wasn't good all game 'til the end.. they actually made big plays.. except we couldn't execute.
Jackson and Vick will be free agents too.. WOW

-M.C.

I Love My Dad

I really do. I wouldn't be the same man if it wasn't for him. As much as we've disagreed and fought in the past, I've learned so much from him. Whether he knows it or not. I know I haven't been the best son towards him.. but seriously though, I look up to him so much.. for being such a hard worker. We wouldn't be in America if it wasn't for him.

I'm so happy about myself that I'm able to say "I love you" to him now.. cuz back then, it was so hard; we would never really say "I love you" to one another before.. but I made the commitment recently to always let him know that I love him whenever he's here, cuz he barely gets to see our family.. and the fact that he travels across state [alone] just to see us, I just want to let him know that I appreciate him by saying "I love you" to him. I want to let him know that I appreciate him because I know he gets lonely being away from his family.. and we barely get to talk to him unless he's here.

-M.C.

How Can I

talk about how I may be losing my love for art.. I mean, damn, art is all I've ever known.

Maybe sometimes I get "too much" art.. so I get tired of it.. but then, when I see/meet/surround myself with creative artists.. I get inspired and reminded I'm kidding myself when I feel like giving up on it as an artist.

-M.C.

WOW

So I've been seeing so many quotes from well-known people lately.. and their sayings/thinking correlates with my fucking thinking so much. I mean, people that I LOOK UP TO when it comes to science/art.

I thought I was the only who's thought about shit that goes through my brain.. but I guess every genius think alike.. hah yeah, I said it. I'm a fucking genius. Believe that.

But anyways, I was on Tumblr and I saw someone put a quote that came from Pablo Picasso..

And it went like this..

"Everything you can imagine is real."

Wow..

-M.C.

Death

"We look at death from the selfish side. Like, you know, 'that guy died.. oh it's so sad.' Why is it sad? He's away from all this bad stuff here on Earth. I mean, at worst, he's just somewhere quiet.. no nothing. At best he's an angel.. or he's a spirit somewhere, you know. What is so bad about that?" - 2Pac

I used to be worried about death.. what's going to happen after I die.. do I go to Heaven.. do I go to Hell.. do I just disappear and be forgotten forever..? All those questions (and more) have circled my mind ever since I can remember..

But you know what? I'm not even worried anymore.. because I believe that whatever you believe that's going to happen willl happen in the afterlife.

I have endless theories and beliefs to what's to become of me after I leave this planet.. galaxy.. universe.. dimension.

I somewhat believe in reincarnation.. although I don't have enough knowledge of it. But I feel like I might be reborn as my descendant(s) in the future (because you know how people always talk about "ooh you look like you're great great great grandparent!").. or an animal.. or an entity/being in another part of the Universe..

Or maybe my soul will just appear somewhere in what we call "space.." and just float/wander around the stars and planets.. watching over other beings.. and knowing all the answers to life/reality.

I know, sounds trippy.

But yeah, so for all of you who believe in Heaven/Hell, there is such a thing! It's all in your head/beliefs.. and it will come true.. whatever you believe in.. Even if you've done so much wrong on this planet and yet you still believe you'll go to Heaven, regardless of what religious officials may tell you, you will go to Heaven.. wherever it may be.

And luckily, I don't believe in Hell.. or Heaven! Although, going to Heaven would be nice. I mostly just believe in total peace after life, if I'm to wander in our Universe.. peace.. Yes, peace, greater knowledge, understanding, and wisdom about reality/life, and having eternal life.

Or I can be reincarnated in the Star Wars Galaxy and be a Jedi :P hah that'd be great as well.

-M.C.

There is a God..

No, it isn't the "God" that everyone worships.. But I can prove, through logic and some science, that there is something that created everything we know, see, touch, feel, ponder about. It makes my hairs stand every time I think about this because it's very mind-blowing. But to make things clearer, I'd like to call my god, "the Creator" instead, because "God," is the dude above the heavens that is soo divine and untouchable, nobody can question his existence. "The Creator" is an everlasting being that does not love, hate, judge, or asks for anything back.. because we are merely part of its imagination.. "It" already knows the actions we're going to take, because "it" has already created our destiny; our past, present, and future.

I wish I can explain my theory in its fullest form in one sitting because it MAKES SENSE.. but even I can't fully comprehend it all at the same time.

Sad thing is, I'm probably the only one who's really going to understand my theory.. which saddens me because I really want to share it with everyone.

I have often, and continue, to question our existence.. but I feel like I've found the answer.. and it doesn't end here. It's forever-evolving.. because I'm finally starting to realize that life isn't meant to be answered.. we can only question and wonder.. and create our own understanding of life.

I know I sound crazy.. but I'd rather not be simple-minded.

-M.C.

Thoughts That Kill Me

Sometimes I feel like I've lost my creativity.. what's worse is sometimes I feel like I'm losing my passion/love for art as an artist.. I mean, as an observer, of course, I still love art.. but as an artist, it bothers me the most feeling like I'm losing my love/passion for the thing I've always adored..

-M.C.

The Artistic Side of Marijuana

My friends have always told me to try drawing when I'm high.. I've always told 'em "nah I can't do it, I wouldn't be able to concentrate."

But last night, the homie Alvaro visited from Cali (you know damn well he brought some bomb-ass Cali kush), and the homies and I got high at Dexter Park. Summer and her boyfriend brought their art supplies and this magazine called Juxtapoz with them. That magazine is beyond unbelievable. I've always seen it at bookstores but have never really checked it out. Last night was the second time I've checked out another issue of the magazine. It's filled with damn creative people.. like shit that'll really inspired you.

I saw Summer and her boyfriend's paintings.. and to add to it, Frankie's imaginative ass started drawing.. they all inspired me alongside the photography, drawings, paintings, etc. from the magazine.. so I decided to give drawing while I'm high a try..

And damn! I felt so free.. like I didn't worry about how my drawing will turn out (which is usually my problem) and I actually concentrated more than I expected.. I didn't finish the drawing though cuz my high eventually went away.. but I'm definitely going to give drawing while I'm high another chance and see if it'll have the same effect.

-M.C.

Today, I Realized..

I'm full of excuses.. it's October 7th, 2010 and yet my tattooing career hasn't gotten nowhere.. I still don't know how to set up a tattoo machine, I still havn't tattooed anyone, I still havn't finished my portfolio [which was supposed to be turned in as early as January of last year.]

I always come up with an excuse.. I've wasted so much time bullshitting..

Lately, I've been telling my friends how I'm a genius and how I want to be remembered down in history.. not just be remembered.. I want to be in books read by students.. admired in a high level.. passed that celebrity status.. I want to make an impact in this world like my idols did (Da Vinci, Einstein, Corbet, Stephen Hawking..)

And yet.. at 20 years old, about to be 21, I still havn't accomplished shit in my life.. cuz of what? Excuses..

-M.C.

Come To Think of It..

You know how everyone always talks about how Kobe Bryant's first three rings were "Shaq's rings?" Well I came across a random YouTube video tonight about one of Kobe's best games (against the Sacramento Kings in Game 4 of the Western Conference Semi-Finals in 2001) and read the comments on it (like I always do.) I came across a comment that signifies Kobe's importance in those three rings he, Shaq and the Lakers won during their three-peat. I just thought I'd post it because the person who left it made a very, very good point.


"How many has rings have Shaq and Kobe won 2gether...3!How many has Shaq won without Kobe......1!How many has Kobe won without Shaq....2!!!The crazy thing is Shaq has had Penny Hardaway, Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Steve Nash, Amare Stoudemire and all he manages is 1 without Kobe, while Kobe has had way less to work with.No offense to Pau Gasol, Bynum Odom or Artest to but look at the list of guys Shaq has had!!!More like Shaq needed Kobe just as bad as he needed Shaq to make it work." - KB24Lakers4ever

EXACTLY .. On point.

-M.C.

My Mother

She's everything that I can ask for from a person.

She does so much and yet never asks for anything back..

She's the main reason why I still haven't thrown my life away.. I mean, I have so much to live for.. But when it's all said and done, I think she's going to be affected the most with what I do with my life, since she's done so much for me.. so much that I don't think I can ever re-pay her.

That's why I try to get my life straight now..

It's not even for me anymore..

It's for the people I love.. especially her.

-M.C.

It Hasn't Even Been a Year

And we might move again . . It's funny how life problems can create tensions between "friends ." I don't know if it's just my mom who wants to move out of this house or me trippin' out and thinkin' my mom's bestfriend and her family want us out . It's not even just me thinkin' like that though . The vibe these people are giving out totally changed . And the fact my homie Frankie "lives" with us too is like a "burden" to them probably . Man, I'm not in this house to play around and pretend about shit . If these people want us out, I'd rather be out than live here cuz they feel bad about us . Fuck it .

I hate how my mom's "bestfriend" and her husband are always rude to me . I always try to say hi and be polite to them but these people have been giving me attitudes and ignoring me when I say hi . I don't give a fuck if they got life problems; I understand that but everyone is going through shit . If anything, my family have WAY MORE problems than these two people . I know she took us in last year and her kids took us in this year when we all lost our houses, but for some reason, ever since her husband's been around, I don't know who she is, but she keeps acting like we owe her shit . Last time I remember, my mom took care of her ass when she was almost dying from her damn sickness two years ago . But what ? The times my grandma went to the hospital and when my mom had a stroke, I NEVER saw her take care of neither of them .

Ha life is funny . . but I just feel bad for my family . . how we have to constantly move .

-M.C.

One of the Best Sports Articles I've Ever Read

"In the here and now, LeBron James probably did the best thing for himself.

By joining Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami to form an NBA superpower squad, James, who announced Thursday night that he was bolting Cleveland via free agency, will more than likely win a championship -- or two or three -- sooner rather than later.

And ultimately, that's what James so desperately wants after seven "failed" seasons with the Cavaliers.

But in the long run, James has clearly damaged his name -- his brand, if you will -- by joining forces with other star players at the height of his NBA career.

James, 25, can't ever truly be considered the greatest player, on par with Michael Jordan.

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Jerry Wachter/NBAE/Getty ImagesMichael Jordan had to struggle before his Bulls found their wings.

That has been the comparison for James from Day 1 in the NBA after coming directly from high school.

But it will be hard for many to not think that James simply took the easy way out. Instead of fighting and working to build his own legacy and win by leading the way, James took the path of least resistance.

He jumped on Wade's back, with a boost up from Bosh, in order to win.

It's a move an aging, ring-less veteran might take. But not a man dubbed "King James" and "The Chosen One."

That's the reason James didn't sign with the Knicks. Or even the Nets, who have a wonderful move to Brooklyn in the future.

Those gigs would have been too hard. Sadly, James wasn't willing to put up the risk for the reward at the end.

James had a great opportunity to go to the Knicks and win, put NYC on the NBA map once again. All the resources were in place. The stage was set. All it was going to take were a few more players and a little time.

The Knicks haven't won a championship since 1973 and have basically been irrelevant for more than a decade.

Had James been able to win, he would have been in a place where only legends exist. Add a second and third championship and James would have had a statue on 7th Avenue in front of the World's Most Famous Arena. Jordan, of course, has a statue in front of the United Center.

There are no other players frozen in history with Jordan. That won't be the case if these three win the way many NBA experts expect.

Somebody better order more bronze.

Sure, James can enjoy South Beach and win there. People will still be excited and buy his sneakers.

But deep down, many will know James decided to put the onus on others and not take on the lead role in a movie everyone thought he was going to star in.

It should come as no surprise that owners, coaches and players around the league were shocked with his decision to join Wade's team. After all, Wade has already won a championship. LeBron went down there to join in on the winning he couldn't accomplish in Ohio.

Many thought James was looking for his Robin to win. Finally, he revealed to everyone that he's Robin and needed a Batman.

James has done nothing wrong. He was a free agent and had a right to go wherever he wanted, including Miami.

LeBron James spurned the Big Apple for Miami. If you're a glutton for punishment, here are his greatest moments on the court. Photo gallery

Still, it just doesn't feel right.

James not only cheated the fans, but himself.

What made Jordan great wasn't just winning six championships in six tries. Or the six NBA Finals MVPs he won.

The journey and the struggle were just as impressive. Early on, many said he was a great scorer, but wouldn't win anything. Jordan didn't win a championship until his seventh season. Before that, he couldn't get past the Pistons, losing three years in a row before finally breaking through.

It was monumental when he finally got there. People marveled at his perseverance, his determination.

Jordan would have never asked to be traded to the Pistons or Celtics in an attempt to win faster and easier. Or even become a free agent to escape the burden of trying to win his own title.

In 2006, James told ESPN The Magazine, "I don't want to go ring hunting. I want to stay in Cleveland and build a championship."

James not only changed his mind, but, apparently, no longer wants a shot at being the greatest, either."

-Rob Parker

-M.C.

Biggest Quitter In NBA History

I'm sorry, I don't care what anybody says . . even if LeBron James wins a championship for the next 5 years with D-Wade and Chris Bosh, he will never be in the same breath as Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Kobe Bryant, just because he quit on his OWN hometown city and will never lead a team on his back to a champhionship . I'll give it to the Heats, they WILL be a problem for my Lakers and will possibly beat the Lakers . . but their championships won't be as sweet since it's going to take THREE superstars to win .

-M.C.