New Me ?

Lately . . I been findin' out or it seems like people are really comin' out with their real opinions on/with me . And most of it are negative . And those thoughts towards me changed/is changin' me (I feel it) . . in a positive way actually . I know it doesn't make sense . .

But yea, I feel like it's positive because I seem to not give a fuck more now . Like people can say negative things about me and I just ACCEPT IT . No hard feelings at all . I believe everyone has their own opinion and apparently, I just let 'em think what they want about me .

I don't know, I guess I'm more careless now . . more careless than I've ever been ; I seem to care less even with opinions that are comin' from people I love most . I mean, if people got negative thoughts about me, oh well, I just accept it and let it go cuz I'm not gon' sit here and get butt-hurt about it or try to change their thoughts . So at the end of the day, it's all good :) I like honesty out of every thing . Hah .

If you think I'm a bad person . . oh well . That's your opinion . I know myself .

"Fuck what you heard about me . . cuz most of it is probably true ."
-Anonymous

-M.C.

Needa Get Back On My Grind . .

"A lot of things in my life went wrong, but still, I live for tomorrow cuz life goes on"

-Funky DL

Damn that was my 2008 motto . . I needa get back on that shit . I was soo positive throughout that year . . even with all the bullshit that happened, I was never too down . I've let the negatives of 2009 get me soo bad . .

I lost my step somewhere so I'ma turn around and take it back . Ha .
That line/rhyme by Funky DL never fails to keep my head up .

-M.C.

Somethin' To Think About

"you gotta do some bad sometimes in order to do good"

hmmm . .


-M.C.

Failed

So I found out last night from one of my classmates I didn't get hired at Target (he works there) . . I don't know, kinda put me hella down to be real . I thought I'd finally have a fuckin' job but I guess not . . damn back to job hunting .

ps: so much for tryna keep my system clean in case I get drug tested -__-

-M.C.

2009

"I'm 'posed to enjoy this shit, but it's quite clear .
The last 12 months been a fuckin' a nightmare ."


-The Game


Let's see what's up with 2010

-M.C.

I Hate

Feelin' unaccomplished or unproductive .

Lately, I feel like my days have been contaminated by both .

Even when I do somethin' throughout the day, I still feel unsatisfied .

Ugh .

-M.C.

Target Job Interview

So today when I got home from school, I got a call from Target . They said they looked at my application and would like to talk to me tomorrow . The lady who called me said to go at 11:30 [a.m.] tomorrow for the job interview .

Damn, I was sooo excited cuz FINALLY, someone from places I applied for, calls me back ! But it's kinda makin' me hella nervous too . First, I havn't had a job interview since like May or June [at Holister haha] . Second, I've NEVER had a job so it's like FUCK, I don't really have any experience . . and third, it's NOT a guarantee I'll get the job .

But foreal though . . I'm pretty excited overall . I HOPE I get the job . Sick and tired of this recession bullshit and not gettin' no goddamn money . . TIME TO MAKE CA$H

-M.C.

New Philosophy/Motto

"We livin' in Hell, [but] waitin' on Heaven, but you don't know, so
might as well try to accept it, go with the flow, oh .
THIS LIFE WILL NEVER CHANGE .
Rather than try to fix it, I'm goin' to do my thang .
Try to continue livin' .
Seems like . . we'll never see hope . You know . .
So we screamin', "THIS LIFE WILL NEVER CHANGE ."
Rather than try to fix it, I'm goin' to do my thang .
Try to continue livin' ."

[Lyrics from K. Dot's song "I Need That"]

Yup, that's how I'ma try to run with life now . .

-M.C.

Back In The Dayz : 8th Grade Friend

Isn't it crazy how things can change dramatically within a short period of time ? Like friendship can change within just ONE YEAR .

I just remembered one of my good friends from 8th grade, Kylee Heurkins . And saw recent pictures of her . It kinda just brought back memories from back in the days . Although I don't know her at all now [personality-wise], to me, she's one of the dopest people I have ever met in my life .

I say that, because first, around the time, I was sorta stereotypical towards White kids . I always thought all White kids were stuck-up, snobby-ass, spoiled kids who didn't talk to anyone but their kind or people who were only popular . I don't know, but to me, she changed my opinion on White kids (not completely, but she still changed my mind) .

I don't remember exactly how we met but I do remember sittin' around her . I think we started talkin' because at the time, she was on a dance team with my ex-girlfriend (so I guess through mutual friend) . Once we started talkin' more, WOW I was sooo surprised of how nice she was . Like you gotta understand, Kylee is a freakin' WHITE GIRL (haha), like espcially back then, she looked like a preppy White girl to me . And my style back then was straight-up ghetto/gangsta (hahah oh god . .), so you know, I didn't expect her to be that cool towards me .

She was the chillest girl I knew from Rosemont (our middle school), and she was real popular with A LOT of people . I actually didin't realize how popular she was 'til the end of school year when I started noticing the crowd she hung with and how many people who knew her . And you gotta understand, the way I saw things at Rosemont, 98% of the people there were stuck-up, snobby, spoiled kids . . so it totally surprised me .

The very next year, we didn't talk/hung as much anymore cuz I guess we didn't have any classes together and we belonged in two different crownds/groups (her with the cheerleaders/jocks/popular kids; me with the Hispanics and some of 'em gangbanged) . It kinda saddens me to this day how our friendship never stayed the same because yeah, she was hella cool .

I think what changed our friendship other than us talkin'/hangin' out less, is HER friends and I . I just didn't really click with them whatsoever (I doubt she even knows this) . It's funny because I was ONCE a part of that group back in 7th grade and I played football with all the jocks . . but you know, you just don't click with certain people . I didn't/never wanted to be around them because I didn't like most of them . Don't get it twisted, some of her friends are REALLY dope (for example : her boyfriend Brian; he was the chillest White boy from our middle and high schools) . But oh well, things just don't stay the same .

To this day though, she's still hella cool/nice to me . I saw her recently when I visited my old school from California towards the end of the school year . It's funny because, she's one of the people who never called me by my real name (naw she didn't call me M.C. either haha) . She's ALWAYS called me by family nickname ("G") . I was soo surprised when she came up to me and asked "G ? What are you doin' here ?"; haha . But yeah, it was real nice seeing her again after not seeing her for a few years . .

-M.C.

I Wished . .

I wished we had our own house . .
:/

Foreals . .

But then again . . who am I to complain . . ? Right ?
I'm lucky enough to be living under a roof even though it's not our own roof; there's billions of people out there who are homeless .

But sometimes, I just wished we had our own house . . some sort of privacy .
But oh well .

I'm thankful [like foreals] . But at the end of the day, I can't help it .
Life goes on though .

-M.C.